Queen Visits the Kelvingrove Art Gallery in Glasgow - by
Excuse me hen but there’s a queue fur the lavvie.
QUEEN: One is very sorry but one is in a great hurry for
one needs to declare this wonderful art gallery
WOMAN 2: Look luv, jist cos you’ve goat a crown on yer
heed an that disnae meen ye need a crap any mare than we
QUEEN: Pardon one but one must say that as your queen
one has certain privileges so one must insist that one
WOMAN 1: Ow, she’s full o’ hersel’ int she?
WOMAN 2: Aye, who dis she think she is?
F/X: DOOR OPENING – SKUFFLE – DOOR SLAMMING CLOSED AGAIN
WOMAN 1: The wee bugger! Did ye see that? She jist
rushed in afair us.
QUEEN: (MUFFLED VOICE FROM WITHIN TOILET CUBICLE) Let
that be a lesson to you (SHORT PAUSE) a royal flush
always beats a pair of commoners.