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Audience Participation Script, kindly provided by
www.therockyhorrorpictureshow.co.uk
Props:
Rice
Bouquet (opt)
Rings (opt)
Newspaper (pref. Plain Dealer)
Water (squirt gun, water bottle or whatever)
Matches, Lighter or other light source (flashlight)
Doughnuts (opt)
Rubber Gloves (opt)
Noisemaker (kazoo, etc...)
Confetti (torn newpapers will suffice)
Toilet Paper (pref. Scott)
Toast
Bologna (opt)
Party Hat
Bell
Frankfurters (opt)
Sponges (opt)
Cards
Paper Airplanes
Whistle
General Information:
Audience instructions are in brackets. Text in quotes
is to be shouted. The instruction 'Echo' means that the
following line is to be shouted in unison with the film.
Whenever Brad appears, or is introduced in some way
the line "Asshole!" is appropriate.
When Janet is introduced or appears, the line "Slut!" is
appropriate, or you prefer...
the line "Nice" (Nissss)is appropriate too. Whenever
Narrator (Charles Gray) appears, the following lines and
variants are appropriate: "He's got no fucking neck!";
"Bo-ring!","Charles Gray, he's O.K.!". Dr. Scott may be
booed, but it's also appropriate to yell "Kiss Ass!".
SCIENCE FICTION/DOUBLE FEATURE
{at opening bars of music, "Lips!" until lips appear
("Thank You")}
Usherette(lips): Michael Rennie was ill
The Day the Earth Stood Still
But he told us where we stand. {"On our feet" while
standing}
And Flash Gordon was there
In silver underwear,
Claude Rains was the Invisible Man. {"outa sight!"}
Then something went wrong
For Fay Wray and King Kong;
They got caught in a celluloid jam. {"69"}
Then at a deadly pace
It Came From... {"where?"} Outer Space.{"thank you!"}
And this is how the message ran:
{"Freeze!"}
Chorus: Science fiction, double feature
Doctor X {"Sex Sex Sex Sex"} will build a creature.
See androids fighting {"and fucking and sucking on"}
Brad and Janet
Anne Francis stars in {"Deep Throat" or any other Porn
Flick}
Forbidden Planet
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
At the late night, double feature, {"Rocky Horror"}
picture
show.
{"Sing"}
Usherette(lips): I knew Leo G. Carrol
Was over a barrel {echo "Was fucked in a barrel!"}
When Tarantula took to the hills. {"Lick it!"}
And I really got hot
When I saw Jeanette Scott {echo "When I saw Janet's
twat!"}
Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.
{"What the fuck's a Triffid"}
Dana Andrews said Prunes
Gave him the runes {echo "Gave him the shits"}
And passing them used lots of skills. {"sexual skills"}
But When Worlds Collide, {clap hands,"BOOM!"}
Said George Powell to his bride,
"I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills,"
{echo "Sexual Thrills"}
Like a...
{"X-ray!"}
Chorus: Science fiction, double feature
Doctor X {"Sex sex sex sex"} will build a creature.
See androids fighting {"and fucking and sucking on"}
Brad and Janet
Anne Francis stars in {"Deep Throat" or any other Porn
flick}
Forbidden Planet
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
At the late night, double feature, {"Rocky Horror"}
picture
show.
I wanna go {"I want to cum"}
Oh Oh Oh
To the late night, double feature, {"Rocky Horror"}
picture
show.
By RKO, {"RK Who?"}
Oh Oh Oh
To the late night, double feature, {"Rocky Horror"}
picture
show.
{"Where's the best place to fuck?!"} In the back row,
{front row: "Fuck the back row!" while flipping 'em off}
{middle: "I've SEEN'em, YOU fuck'em!"}
{back row: "Yay Back Row!" or "Fuck the FRONT row!"}
Oh Oh Oh
To the late night, double feature, {"Rocky Horror"}
picture
show!
Dentonian: Here they come! (Dentonians cheer and throw
rice) {throw RICE}
Photographer: Let's get a picture. Close together now.
The folks and
then the grandparents. Just of the close family. Ahhh,
hold that. Beautiful. And... (snap)
Ralph: I guess we finally did it, huh. {"Hit him, Hit
him back"}
Brad: I don't think there's any doubt about that. You
and Betty have
been almost inseparable since you met in Dr. Scott's
refresher
class.
Ralph: Well to tell you the truth, Brad, that's the only
reason I
showed up in the first place. (chuckles)
Betty: O.K. you guys, this is it. (everyone screams)
Ralph: Well Betty's going to throw the bouquet. {throw
BOUQUET}
Janet: {"Catch it, Janet!"} or {"Hey Janet, do you have
Herpes?"}
I got it! I got it!
Ralph: Hey big fella, looks like it could be your turn
next, eh?
Brad: Who knows. {"The Shadow knows!", or "Who Cares!"}
Ralph: Well, so long, see you Brad. Guess we better get
get going
now Bett. Come on, hop in. (they drive away)
{"Be just and fear not" when sign appears}
{"Be drunk/stoned and care not" after above}
Janet: Oh Brad, wasn't it wonderful? {"No!"}
Wasn't Betty radiantly beautiful? {"No!"}
I can't believe it. An hour ago she was just plain old
Betty
Monroe, and now...
now she's Mrs. Ralph Hapshatt.
{"I'd rather be Betty Monroe!", or "Hap-SHIT! (will
travel)"}
Brad: Yes Janet, Ralph is a lucky guy.
{"No he's not, she got clap." clap hands}
Janet: Yes.
Dentonian: I always cry at weddings.
{"So do I!" or
"and laugh at funerals"}
Brad: Everyone knows that Betty is a wonderful little
cook.
{"Yes, and she's a great little fuck, too!"}
Janet: Yes.
Brad: Why Ralph himself, he'll be up for a promotion in
a year or two.
{"If he doesn't get busted!"}
{when Denton sign is in view... "Denton Denton Rah Rah
Rah,
Denton Denton eat me raw, Yeah Denton!"}
Janet: Yes.
DAMMIT JANET
{"Brad, what do you say when you want to fuck"}
Brad: Hey Janet.
{"Sit on my face and wiggle"}
Janet: Yes Brad?
Brad: I've got something to say.
{"Then say it asshole"}
Janet: Uh huh.
Brad: I really love the... {"Starts with an S...sk...sk...sk...sk..."}
skillful way {"you give head"}... you beat
the other girls... {"With whips and chains?"}
to the bride's bouquet. {"that too"}
Janet: Oh Brad.
{"Sing it, Brad!(Asshole)"}
{audience echoes 'Janet's, 'Oh Brad's, 'Dammit, Janet's}
{echo "Fuck of bitch! I wanna screw" over Dammit
Janet...
repeat whenever necessary}
Brad: The river was deep but I swam it. (Janet)
The future is ours so let's plan it. (Janet)
So please, don't tell me to can it. (Janet)
I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet I love
you.
The road was long but I ran it. (Janet)
There's a fire in my heart and you fan it. (Janet)
If there's one fool for you then I am it. (Janet)
I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet I love
you.
Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker.
There's three ways that love can grow. {"sex sex and
sex"}
That's good, bad, or mediocre.
{Echo "That's gay, straight, or mediocre!"}
Oh, J-A-N-E-T I love you so.
{"Don't drop it!"}
Janet: Oh, it's nicer than Betty Monroe had. (Oh Brad)
Now we're engaged and I'm so glad (Oh Brad)
That you met Mom and you know Dad. (Oh Brad)
{echo "That you fuck Mom and you blow Dad."}
I've one thing to say and that's Brad, I'm mad, for you
too.
{echo "For a screw" over "for you too"}
Oh Brad...
Brad: Oh... dammit.
{echo "Aw shit" over "Oh... dammit"}
Janet: I'm mad...
Brad: Oh, Janet.
{echo "Aw shit" over "Oh, Janet"}
Janet: For you.
Brad: I love you too.
{echo "I love to screw-ew-ew."}
Brad & Janet: There's one thing left to do - ah - oo.
{echo "that's screw" over "ah - oo"}
Brad: And that's go see the man who began it. (Janet)
When we met in his science exam - it (Janet)
Made me give you the eye and then panic. (Janet)
Now I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet, I
love you.
Dammit, Janet.
Janet: Oh Brad, I'm mad. {echo "You fag" over "I'm mad"}
Brad: Dammit, Janet.
Brad & Janet: I love you. {echo "I love screw"}
{"the man in the next scene has NO FUCKING NECK"}
Narrator: I would like, {"You would, would you?"}
ah, if I may, {"You may not!"} ...to take you on a
strange journey. {"How strange"}
{"So strange, they made a movie about it!"}
(goes for black book) {"Not the book, the MOVIE!"}
(opens book) {"Three pages to the asshole"}
and/or {"The pervert took pictures!"}
{as pages turn "one. two. two and a half."}
It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad Majors
{"asshole"}
his fiancee Janet Weiss {"slut"}, two young, normal,
healthy kids,
left Denton {"Denton Denton, rah rah rah, Denton Denton,
eat
me raw, Yeah Denton"}
that late November evening, to visit a Dr. Everett
Scott,
ex-tutor, now friend to both of them.
{"Is it true that you fuck chickens?" or some other
question}
It's true there were dark storm clouds.
{"Adjectives, please!" or "Describe your balls!"}
heavy, black, and pendulous, towards which they were
driving.
{"It it also true that you rape boys?" or some other
question}
It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying
was badly in need of some air, but, uh, they being
normal kids, on a
night out... well, they weren't going to let a storm
spoil the rest
their evening, were they? {"What kind of night was it?"}
...On a night out... {"WHAT kind of night?"} it was a
night out
they were going to remember... {"How long?"} for a very
long time.
{move hands as if they were windshield wipers}
{echo stuff to Nixon speech....}
{"How many motorcylces has that been Janet (Slut)?"}
Janet: Gosh, that's the third motorcycle that's passed
us.
{"The Bitch (slut) can count."}
They sure do take their lives in their hands, what with
the
weather and all.
{"Say something stupid, Brad(Asshole)!"}
Brad: Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type. {"Asshole!"
or
echo "so's Janet" after "life's pretty cheap" or "YEA
that
type!"}
Janet: Oh. ...What's the matter, Brad darling?
{"I came on the windshield"}
Brad: We must have taken the wrong fork a few miles
back.
{"You took the salad fork!"}
Janet: Oh, but where did those motorcycles come from?
{"Japan", or "Kawasaki", etc.}
Brad: Hmmm... well I guess we'll just have to turn back.
{"Don't back up!"} (BOOM)
Janet: Oh! What was that bang?
Brad: We must have a blowout. DAMMIT! {"Janet!" clap
hands}
I knew I should have
gotten that spare tire fixed. {"Asshole!"} Well, you
just stay here
keep warm and I'll go for help.
Janet: But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?
{"Try the castle!" or "What's white and sells
hamburgers?"}
Brad: ...Didn't we pass a castle bach down the road a
few miles?
{Cheer} Maybe they have a telephone we could use.
{"Castles don't have telephones, asshole!" repeat when
appropriate}
Janet: I'm going with you.
Brad: Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us
getting wet.
{"She's already wet!"}
Janet: I'm coming with you! {"That'll be a first!"}
Besides darling,
the owner of that phone might be a beautiful woman,{"He
is!"}
and you might never come back. {"You should be so
lucky!"}
Brad: Heh, heh, heh, heh.
{they get out of the car "Kick it!". NEWSPAPERS over
heads,
squirt the virgins sitting in front of you}
OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE
Janet: In the velvet darkness,
Of the blackest night,
Burning bright,{"What's up your ass?"} there's a guiding
star.
No matter what or who you are.
Brad & Janet: There's a light... {light MATCHES on
'light'}
Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Burning in the fireplace. {echo "Burning down
the fucking
place!"}
{MATCHES out on 'darkness' - "DARKNESS, you virgins!" if
any
lights still on.}
Brad & Janet: There's a light, light in the darkness of
everybody's life.
{"Sing it, Riff!" or "Sing to us, oh hairless one!"}
Riff Raff: The darkness must go down the river of
night's dreaming.
Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming
{b4 Riff backs away,"Watch out for the quicksand,
Riff!"}
Into my life. Into my life...
Brad & Janet: There's a light... {MATCHES again}
Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Burning in the fireplace.
There's a light, a light
Brad & Janet: {off at 'Darkness'} ...in the darkness of
everybody's life. |
