|
Frank: He'll eat nutritious high protein {"cum"}.
And swallow raw eggs... {"Yuck!"}
Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms, and...
legs.
{"All three of them!"}
Such an effort if he only knew of my plan.
In just seven days...
{"And seven nights..." repeat after each time}
Frank & Transylvanians: I can make you a man.
Frank: He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups, do the snatch,
clean and jerk {"off"}.
He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work.
Such strenuous living I just can't understand,
When in just seven days, oh baby, ...I can make you a
man.
{"Watch out for the door!" or "Incoming!"}
Columbia: EDDIE!
HOT PATOOTIE (BLESS MY SOUL)
Eddie: Whatever happened to Saturday night,
When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright?
It don't seem the same since cosmic light
Came into my life, I thought I was divine.
I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go,
And listen to the music on the radio;
A saxophone was playing in a rock 'n roll show.
You climbed in the back seat, you really had a good
time.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n
roll.
{Echo "sex drugs and rock and roll" over "I really
love..."}
(repeated three more times)
(Sax solo) {when Eddie stomps the floor, "Eat shit, and
die"}
My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled.
My hands kind of fumbled with her white plastic belt.
I'd taste her baby pink lipstick and that's when I'd
melt
And she'd whisper in my ear tonight she really was mine.
Get back in front, put some hair oil on
Buddy Holly was singing his very last song.
With your arms around your girl you'd try to sing along.
It felt pretty good. Woo You really had a good time.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n
roll.
(... for a total of twelve times)
(Frank attacks Eddie with an alpinist's pick) {Scream}
{"That's no way to pick your friends!" or "Picky, picky,
picky"}
{"Frank, what's the score?"}
Frank: One from the vaults. (chuckles)
{"Give those used rubbers to Magenta, she knows what to
do
with them" as Frank gives the bloody gloves to her}
Rocky: Ugh...
Frank: Oh baby... Don't be upset... {"What sort of a
killing was it?"}
It was a mercy killing... {"mercy mercy"}
he had a certain naive charm, {"But what a muscle?"}
but no muscle (Rocky flexes a bicep) ...Oh!
I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN (part II)
Frank: But a deltoid and a bicep.
A hot groin and a tricep.
Makes me, oooh, shake,
Makes me want to Charles Atlas by the {"Balls!"}
...ha-ha-hand.
Frank & Transylvanians: In just seven days I can make
you a man.
Frank: I don't want no dissention, just dynamic tension.
{"Take it, Janet!"}
Janet: I'm a muscle fan.
Frank: In just seven days, I can make you a man
Dig it if you can
In just seven days, I can make you a man.
(Frank and Rocky's WEDDING MARCH)
Transylvanians: Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and
Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and Rocky,
rah-rah-rah!
{throw Confetti}
Narrator: There are those that say that life is an
illusion {"like your neck"}
and that reality is but a figment of the imagination.
{"Like your neck"} If this is so, then Brad and Janet
are
quite safe {"with their necks"}, ... however, the sudden
departure
of their host...and his creation...into the seclusion of
his somber
bridal suite {echo "Sweet" up high} had left them
feeling both
{"Horny!"} apprehensive and a feeling which grew
{"unlike your
neck"} as the other guests departed, and they were
shown to their separate rooms.
(Janet and Brad are shown to their rooms by Riff Raff
and Magenta.)
{"Pink is for Sluts... watch out for the basin ...
He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're
awake...
He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for
goodness sake!"}
(Brad enters room)
{"Same room, different filter, what a cheap movie. Blue
is for
assholes"}
(knock)
{"Imitation asshole calling"}
Janet: Uhh! Who is it? Who's there?
{"Have no fear, Frank the wonderfuck is here, part one"}
Frank (Brad): It's only me, Janet.
Janet: Oh, Brad darling, come in.
{"She said come in, not come on"}
Oh! Brad Oh Brad. Yes, my darling...but what if...
Frank (Brad): It's all right, Janet, everything's going
to be alright.
{"Don't touch his hair!" or "Don't fuck with the hair"}
Janet: Oh, I hope so, my darling. Oh...Ah...ahh OHHH! Oh
it's you!
{"We told you not to fuck with the hair!"}
Frank: I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't it nice...
Janet: Oh, you beast, you monster...Oh what have you
done with Brad?
Frank: Oh, well, nothing. Why, do you think I should?
Janet: You tricked...I wouldn't have...I've
never..never...
{"What about the football team", answer "That was just
practice"}
Frank: Yes, yes I know, but it isn't all bad, is it?
{"It isn't all
Brad either!"} I think you really found it quite
pleasurable.
Janet: Oh, stop...I mean help...Brad Brad!..Oh Brad!!
{"He's not down there!"}
Frank: Shhh. Brad's probably asleep by now. Do you want
him to see you
like...This!
Janet: Like this..like how??! Oh, it's your
fault...you're to blame...Oh...
I was saving myself...
Frank: Yes, but I'm sure you're not SPENT yet...
Janet: Promise you won't tell Brad?
Frank: Cross my heart and hope to die...
{"Stick a needle in my eye!"}
(assorted sexual noises)
(scene with Riff & Magenta, Magenta with a mop)
{"It's the Carol Burnet Show"}
(Riff walks over to Magenta)
{"You fuck with the mop, I'll fuck with the monster"}
(Riff walks over to Rocky)
{"Service entrance in the rear", answer "That's why they
call
them the Butler"}
(Riff grabs the candelabra) {"Not the ( ) pronged
dildo?"}
(Riff Raff scares Rocky with a candelabra)
{"Have some fire, Scarecrow!" or "You light up my life"}
(Rocky runs away as Riff cracks his whip)
{"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and
chains excite me."} (Rocky climbs down the elevator
shaft)
(Riff approaches Magenta)
{chant "Elbow Sex!" until they have it}
(scene change to Brad's room)
{"have no fear, Frank the wonderfuck is here, part two"}
Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad darling, it's no good here.
He'll destroy us.
Brad: Don't worry Janet, we'll be away from here in the
morning.
Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad you're so strong and protective.
{"Don't touch her hair!" or "Don't fuck with the hair"}
Brad: Ah, ah, ah, oh YOU!
Frank: I'm afraid so, Brad, but isn't it nice...
{"It isn't Weiss either!"}
Brad: Why YOU! what have you done with Janet? {"Fucked
her silly!"}
Frank: Nothing. Why? Do you think I should? {"Liar!"}
Brad: You tricked me, I wouldn't
have...never...never...never...
{"What about the boy scout troup?"}
Frank: Oh Yes yes, I know...but it isn't all bad, is it?
Not even half
bad, I think you really quite enjoyed it.
(Brad starts moaning)
Frank: Oh... so soft...
Brad: Stop it...stop it...oh Janet...JANET!
{"She's not down there!"}
Frank: Shhh! Janet's probably asleep by now, do you want
her to see you...
like...this.
Brad: Like this, like how? It's your fault, you're to
blame, I thought
it was the real thing! {"It is!"}
Frank: Oh come on, Brad, admit it, you liked it, didn't
you? It isn't
a crime to give yourself over to pleasure, Brad.
{"Not in this state!"}
We've wasted so much time already. Janet needn't know, I
won't tell.
Brad: Well, promise you won't tell...
Frank: On my mother's gra.oouuuuuu.... {"Don't talk with
your mouth full!"}
(BEEPBEEPBEEP...)
Riff Raff: Master, Rocky has broken his chains and
vanished. Your
new playmate is loose and somewhere on the grounds...
Magenta has just released {"Her sisters"} the dogs...
Frank: mmmm? coming! {"So's Brad!"}
Janet: Oh, Brad. {"oh shit"} Brad, my darling, {"Janet
you slut"}
how could I have done this to you? Oh!
{"It wasn't easy, with those pantyhose on!"} {"see!"}
If only we hadn't made this journey... {"But you did!"}
if only the hadn't broken down... {"but it did!"}
if only we were amongst friends {"But you aren't!"} Or
sane persons,
Oh Brad {"oh shit"}
Oh Brad {"Get tough bitch!"} what have they done with
him...
{"nice handle"}
(she sees him on TV with Frank)
Oh, Brad, Oh Brad-How could you? {"It was easy: no
pantyhose!"}
(she fondles the handle) {"Fifty ways to love your
lever"}
(Rocky emits moans and general cries of pain)
{"Don't bother him, he's monster bating"}
(Rocky gets up) {"Who said masterbation wasn't a dirty
bussiness"}
Janet: Oh, but you are hurt...Did they do this to you?
{"No, I did it to
myself"} I'll dress your wounds... {"He's got more hurt
than
you've got skirt!"} baby there...let me make it all
better.
{"Hey Janet - wanna fuck? Think about it Janet. think
long, think hard
....and smile if you do!"}
Narrator: Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the
mind...Vehement or excited
mental state. It is also a powerful and irrational
master...and from
what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on their
television monitor
there seemed little doubt that Janet was, indeed, ...
its slave.
Magenta and Columbia: {echo} Tell us about it, Janet.
TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME
Janet: I was feeling done in, couldn't win
I'd only ever kissed before.
Columbia: You mean she...
Magenta: Uh huh
Janet: I thought there's no use getting
Into heavy petting
It only leads to trouble
And seat wetting.
{stand up, look at your seat, "oh shit, my seat's wet."}
Now all I want to know is how to go.
I've tasted blood and I want more.
Magenta and Columbia: {echo} More, more, more
Janet: I'll put up no resistance
I want to go the distance
I've got an itch to scratch
I need assistance.
{on 'toucha toucha' etc., run and attempt to touch Janet
(on the screen)}
Toucha toucha toucha touch me
I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
Creature of the night.
{when Rocky goes between Janet's legs: "This looks like
a good place for
a stick up." or "Something smells fishy here."}
Then if anything grows, while you pose,
I'll oil you up and rub you down.
Magenta and Columbia: {"up"} Down, {"up"} down, {"up"}
down. {"up"}
Janet: And that's just one small fraction of the main
attraction
You need a friendly hand and I need action.
Columbia: Toucha toucha toucha touch me
Magenta: I want to be dirty.
Columbia: Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,
Magenta: Creature of the night.
Janet: Toucha toucha toucha touch me I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creature of the night.
{"switch" repeat, after each character sings his line}
Rocky: Creature of the night
Brad: Creature of the night?
Frank: Creature of the night.
Magenta: Creature of the night.
Riff Raff: Creature of the night.
Columbia: Creature of the night.
Rocky: Creature of the night.
Janet: Creature of the night.
(scene change, Riff being whipped)
{"Thank you master, may I have another", after each
crack}
Riff Raff: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! {"Say thank you! ...say
it in French!"}
Merrrrrcy! (being whipped by Frank)
Frank: How did it happen? I understood you were to be
watching...
Riff Raff: I was only away for a minute...master
{"Frank, Show us your backhand" (shows it) "Needs
work!"}
Frank: Well, see if you can find him on the monitor.
Riff Raff: Master, master...we have a visitor.
Brad: Hey, Scotty! {"Beam me up, this planet sucks!"}
Dr. Everett Scott.
Riff Raff: You know this earthling {"You fucked up!"}
...this person?
Brad: Why yes. He happens to be an old friend of mine.
Frank: I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting.
You came here
with a purpose.
Brad: I told you, my car broke down. I was telling the
truth.
{"assholes don't lie"}
Frank: I know what you told me...but this Dr. Everett
Scott, his name
is not unknown to me.
Brad: He was a science teacher at Denton High School.
Frank: And now he works for your government, doesn't he,
Brad? he's
attached to the bureau of investigation of that which
you call
UFO's {echo "You Ass-hole"}
Isn't that right, Brad?
Brad: He might be...I don't know.
Riff Raff: The intruder is entering the building,
master.
{"Now what room is he in? the bathroom? the bedroom? the
green room?"}
Frank: He'll probably be...entering the Zen room. {"The
Zen Room! Shit! I
left a joint in there!"} Shall we inquire of him in
person?
{"Not the triple-contact electro-magnet!"}
{sing "Ring around the lesbians"}
(pause)
Brad: Great Scott! {throw TOILET PAPER}
Dr. Scott: Frankenfurter, we meet at last.
Brad: Dr. Scott!
Dr. Scott: Brad! What are you doing here?
Frank: Don't play games, Dr. Scott. You know perfectly
well what
Brad Majors is doing here. It was part of your plan, was
it not?
That he and his female should check the layout for you.
well,
unfortunately for you, all your plans are to be changed.
You must
be adaptable, Dr. Scott; I know Brad is.
{"You promissed you wouldn't tell"}
Dr. Scott: I can assure you that Brad's presence here
comes as a complete
surprise to me. I came here to find Eddie.
Brad: Eddie! I've seen him!
Frank: Eddie! What do you know of Eddie, Dr. Scott?
{"Get conceited!"}
Dr. Scott: I happen to know a great deal about a lot of
things. You see
Eddie happens to be my {"sex life"} nephew.
(Frank gasps)
Brad: Dr. Scott. {"Mouseketeer roll call sound off
now!"}
Janet: Ah!
{echo all following lines}
Dr. Scott: Janet!
Janet: Dr. Scott!
Brad: Janet!
Janet: Brad!
Frank: Rocky! {"Ugh!"}
(Rocky says nothing, not even a grunt)
Dr. Scott: Janet!
Janet: Dr. Scott!
Brad: Janet!
Janet: Brad!
Frank: Rocky! {"Ugh!"}
(Rocky says nothing, not even a grunt)
Dr. Scott: Janet!
Janet: Dr. Scott!
Brad: Janet!
Janet: Brad!
Frank: Rocky! {"Ugh!"}
(Rocky says nothing, not even a grunt)
{if the theatre did it in unison, clap and cheer}
Frank: Listen...I made you...and I can break you just as
easily.
(to Rocky)
Magenta: (GONG) Master, dinner is prepared! {"and WE
helped! (hay-ulped)"}
Frank: Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress
is to be optional.
{"Toga Toga Toga"} |
