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Weird Unusual True News Stories

X-Factor Judge Cheryl Cole becomes Gay Martian Icon

Our fears over Cheryl Cole's astronomical rise to fame have been justified. A recent secret mission to Mars has revealed that there is a massive gay following for the TV superstar.

It all begun in 2007 when scientists working at the secret space laboratory in the sleepy little seaside town of Dunoon, Scotland, launched a probe to investigate life on Mars. During June and July of 2009 sound and images beamed back from Mars gave some startling insights into the Martian way of life. It would appear that all Martians are complete television addicts and tune in to Planet Earth television 68 hours a day. Their favourite earthly program is X-Factor  - but the most shocking discovery is that there is a massive gay following for X-Factor judge, Cheryl Cole .

As a result of this obsession with Miss Cole, the Martian shops are full of Cheryl Cole style clothes and everywhere there are drag queen Cheryl Cole impersonators.

In one snippet of message recorded by the probe, two gay Cheryl Cole fans can be heard discussion the latest cute dress she is wearing on X-Factor. One Martian comments, "Hkk&e X-Factor ya %£loo pR)(+goole kke Mdoees *Yle=R i <Ogllde DWe$" - which roughly translated means, "When we invade Earth, I'm going to possess Cheryl Cole's body."

But don't worry - the probe's findings show that the Martians have not yet got the technology to invade our planet. And if they continue to spend most of their time watching television it could be several billion years before that develop that capability.

                 

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