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X-Factor
Judge Cheryl Cole becomes Gay Martian Icon
Our fears
over Cheryl Cole's astronomical rise to fame have been
justified. A recent secret mission to Mars has revealed
that there is a massive gay following for the TV
superstar.
It all begun
in 2007 when scientists working at the secret space
laboratory in the sleepy little seaside town of Dunoon,
Scotland, launched a
probe to investigate life on Mars. During June and July
of 2009 sound and images beamed back from Mars gave some
startling insights into the Martian way of life. It
would appear that all Martians are complete television
addicts and tune in to Planet Earth television 68 hours
a day. Their favourite earthly program is X-Factor
- but
the most shocking discovery is that there is a massive gay
following for X-Factor judge, Cheryl Cole .
As a
result of this obsession with Miss Cole, the Martian shops are full of Cheryl Cole style clothes
and everywhere there are drag queen Cheryl Cole impersonators.
In one
snippet of message recorded by the probe, two gay Cheryl
Cole fans can be heard discussion the latest sexy dress
she is wearing on X-Factor. One Martian comments, "Hkk&e
X-Factor ya %£loo pR)(+goole kke Mdoees *Yle=R i <Ogllde
DWe$" - which roughly translated means, "When we invade
Earth, I'm going to possess Cheryl Cole's body."
But don't
worry - the probe's findings show that the Martians have
not yet got the technology to invade our planet. And if
they continue to spend most of their time watching
television it could be several billion years before that
develop that capability.
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