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Cakes and Ale

 

During a history final at England's ancient Cambridge University, the proctor saw a student raise his hand.

"Yes?" said the proctor.

"Sir, please bring me cakes and ale," the student said.

All the other students in the room stopped writing.

"Is this a joke?" the proctor asked.

"No sir. I request and require you to bring me cakes and ale."

"I will do no such thing. Continue with your examination."

"I am afraid, sir, that you must bring me cakes and ale," the student said. "The university's book of laws stipulates as much."

"I've never heard of such a thing," the proctor objected.

"Happily, I have a copy of the book with me," said the student. "You do read Latin, don't you?"

The student produced an ancient book and showed the relevant clause to the proctor. It read, "A student sitting for an examination may request and require the proctor to bring him cakes and ale."

"Very well," said the proctor. "I shall be back in a moment."

Twenty minutes later, the proctor returned with a serving tray. On it was a pitcher of ale, a glass and a small cake on a plate. "Here we are. May I borrow that book while you complete your exam?"

The student handed it over. The proctor returned to his desk at the front of the room and sat reading until the exam was over. Two hours later, the student brought his exam book up to the proctor.

"Thanks for the cakes and ale!"

"Just a moment," said the proctor. "I'm afraid you've violated one of the ancient laws of the university."

"What are you talking about?"

"Look here. It says very clearly, 'A student sitting for an examination who fails to wear his ceremonial sword shall be fined one pound.' You can pay the fine to me."

 

Variations: The setting for this story is always either Cambridge or Oxford. In other versions the student requests a glass of port or a jug of wine. Later, the proctor fines the student for failing to wear shoes with silver buckles, a tabard or a starched ruff collar.

 

 

The picture showing the ancient university rules was too darn boring - here is a family enjoying Christmas instead   . . .

 

 family-christmas-presents-cute-little-kid-mother-pictures

 

Story by Eric Dylan    Copyright Weird-Websites.info Do not copy for use on blogs, websites etc

 

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