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USA Jokes and Quotes - Probably the funniest American Humour on the Internet

Things I Hate

 

i. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
ii. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
iii. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
iv. When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
v. When people say while watching a film, 'did ya see that?' No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
vi. People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
vii. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
viii. When people say 'life is short'. What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?
ix. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?' If the bus came, would I be standing here???

 

 

<< Now check out our 100 other jokes about the United States of America >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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