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Pub and Bar Jokes - - Probably the funniest jokes about public houses on the internet.

Missing Cigar

 

A man walks into a dimly lit bar and the bartender asks him 'Why is the front of your shirt all bloody'

His customer answers in a slurred voice 'My wife caught me with another woman and cut off my penis.'

'Oh come on' replies the bartender.

The customer then says 'If you don't believe me, I'll show you.'

He proceeds to rifle through his suitcase and pulls out this long thin thing and lays it on the bar.

The bartender bends down and looks closely and says 'Why this is just a cigar'.

The customer looks puzzled and says 'I have it here somewhere' and proceeds to fumble through his other pockets and comes up with another long thin thing and placing it on the bar, and says ' See that'.

The bartender again inspects it closely and says 'You asshole that's just another cigar.'

Now the customer staggers backward and steadies himself , leaning on the bar and with awareness in his shaky voice says 'Son of a bitch, I must have smoked it!'

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(( Please note: The jokes and pictures on this site have been contributed by number of different sources. If you find something that you hold copyright to or find offensive please contact the webmaster. Where you hold copyright we will be happy to either remove the item or credit it to you and add a link to your website. ))

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)weird-websites.info