PRESSING MATTER OF STATE
President Vladimir Putin called President Bush with an emergency:
'Our largest condom factory has exploded!' the Russian President cried; 'My people's favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!'
'Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.', replied the President.
'I do need your help,' said Putin. 'Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tie us over?'
'Why certainly! I'll get right on it!', said Bush.
'Oh, and one more small favour, please?', said Putin.
'Yes?', replied the President.
'Could the condoms be red in colour and at least 10' long and 4' in diameter?' said Yeltsin.
'No problem,' replied the President and with that Bush hung up and called the President of Trojan condoms. 'I need a favour, you've got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia.'
'Consider it done,' said the President of Trojan.
'Great! Now listen, they have to be red in colour, 10' long and 4' wide.'
'Easily done. Anything else?'
'Yeah,' said the President, 'Print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM' on each one.'