Losing my wife
'I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love,' the husband told the counsellor.
'Has she started to neglect you?'
'Not at all,' the dejected man replied. 'She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she's a great cook, the house is always neat, and she keeps the kids out of my hair. She even lets me choose the television shows we watch and she never objects to kinky sex, or says she has a headache.'
'So what's the problem?'
'Maybe I'm just being too sensitive,' the husband ventured, but at night, when she thinks I'm sleeping, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers, 'Die! Die, you son of a bitch!''
<< Now check out our 100 other wedding and marriage jokes (many are perfect for those best man and bridegroom speeches) >>