Laws For Mothers
Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don't.
If you can't remember whether or not you called your mother, you didn't.
The motherly advice you ignore will always turn out to be the best advice she ever gave you.
Never criticize your mother's cooking if you expect to get any more of it.
If you think you have any secrets from your mother, remember who has changed your diapers.
Never lie to your mother. And if you do, never think you got away with it.
The older you are, the more you feel like a child around your mother.
Mother's way is best. If you don't believe it, ask her.
When you are broke, ask mom for a loan. She will help you remember what you wasted all your money on.
The more times mother reminds you to take an umbrella, the greater the probability of rain.
Accomplishments are made possible by your mother - failures are your own fault.
Mother can always tell you a better way to do something after you've already done it.
The longer it's been since you cleaned house, the more likely it is that mother will visit.
Never tell your mother you have nothing to do. She can always find something.
There are always two sides to a story - the way it really happened and the way mother remembers it.
Mothers always 'know.' We don't know how - they just do.