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Mother and Mother's Day Jokes - Probably the funniest Mommy Humour on the Internet

Famous Mother


PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: 'I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!'

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: 'I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?'

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: 'After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?'

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: 'Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!'

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: 'I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!'

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: 'Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!'

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: 'Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?'

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: 'All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!'

CUSTER'S MOTHER: 'Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting off more than you can chew!'

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: 'Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?'

BARNEY'S MOTHER: 'I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple.'

MARY'S MOTHER: 'I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.'

BATMAN'S MOTHER: 'It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?'

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: 'I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?'

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: 'Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!'

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: 'But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?'

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: 'The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!'

JONAH'S MOTHER: 'That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days.'

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: 'Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?'

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: 'Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!



<< Now check out all our TOP 100 Mother and Mother's Day Jokes >>


























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