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A selection of hilarious one liner jokes and quotes - Probably the funniest one liner jokes and quotes on the Internet

Funny One Liners - 274

 

one liner

There are two types of people who can tell you the truth about yourself: an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.


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short funny one liners

Turn the despair of being alone into the wonder of being alone with God.


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best one liner

When you live in the past, it costs you the present.


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filthy one liners

Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.


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Best quip

No one is responsible for all the things that happen to him, but he is responsible for the way he acts when they do happen.


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Best quip

Man and the turtle are very much alike. Neither makes any progress without sticking his neck out.


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filthy one liners

All men can fly, but sadly, only in one direction -- down.


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Best quip

You are what you think about all day long. (Dr. Robert Schuller)


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filthy jokes one liners

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.


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funny one liner jokes

One afternoon after a rainstorm, I noticed one of the most beautiful rainbows I had ever seen. I called my 3-year-old daughter, Ashley, to the door so we could go outside and look at it together. With wide eyes she carefully studied it until finally she looked at me and said, 'But, Mommy, where is the ark?'



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<< Now check out our 4000 other funny One - Liners - Yep, that's right we have over 4000 hilarious one liners to amuse and entertain you!!! >>

 

 

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<< Note our one liner jokes have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)weird-websites.info