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A selection of hilarious one liner jokes and quotes - Probably the funniest one liner jokes and quotes on the Internet

Funny One Liners - 98

 

Amusing one liner

Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.


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Unusual quip

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.


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one liners and proverbs

How far you go in life is determined by how tender you are with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with those striving, and tolerant with the weak and strong, because some day in life you will have been all of them.


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Strange one liner

Passion: there are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those.


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offensive one liners

Never seek the wind in the field. It is useless to try and find what is gone. (Polish proverb)


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one liner

Telling the truth and making someone cry is just as bad as telling a lie and making someone smile!


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Strange quote

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.


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Famous quote

Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home insect-proof and air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.


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short bar jokes

Utility is when you have one telephone,


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Bizarre quip

I like pigs better than cat and dogs. Dogs are subservient and look up to man. Cats are aloof and look down on man. A pig, however, will look you in the eye, and see his equal. (Winston Churchill)



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<< Note our one liner jokes have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)weird-websites.info