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A selection of hilarious one liner jokes and quotes - Probably the funniest one liner jokes and quotes on the Internet

Funny One Liners - 189

 

quick one liners

I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.


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steven wright one liners

Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up.


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snappy one liners

Even a mosquito doesn't get a slap on the back until he starts to work.


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best one liner jokes

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. (A. Lincoln)


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Famous joke

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.


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Strange quote

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.


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Strange joke

Patience accomplishes its object, while hurry speeds to its ruin. (Saadi, Persian poet)


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Strange quip

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.


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greatest one liners

Time is relative... The mind makes it slow, the heart makes it fast, our friends make it worth while, and words... make it timeless.


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short blonde jokes

I once saw this sign on a diner wall: 'I have an agreement with the bank: they don't fry hamburgers, and I don't cash checks.'



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<< Now check out our 4000 other funny One - Liners - Yep, that's right we have over 4000 hilarious one liners to amuse and entertain you!!! >>

 

 

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<< Note our one liner jokes have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)weird-websites.info