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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 109

 

Who is in control

At a recent interview, it seems that Bill Clinton broke out in rage after being asked a line of questions about him being controlled.

Interviewer: 'Who pulls your strings, Bill? What special interests control you?'

Clinton (visibly upset): 'You leave Hillary out of this!'



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FACTS OF LIFE

Boy: Dad, what's politics?

Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son?

Boy: I still don't understand dad.

Dad: Think about it for a while son.

That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he's soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can here him.

The next day...

Son: Dad I understand politics now.

Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words son.

Son: The management is screwing the working class while the government's fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of SHIT!


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Break-Up

There was a pretty Nurse named Carol who broke her engagement to a doctor. She was explaining everything to a friend.

'Do you mean to say,' exclaimed Cindy, 'that the bum asked you to give back the ring AND all his presents ?'

'Not only that,' said Carol, 'he sent me a bill for 37 visits.'


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Ali baba

What is harder than a diamond?
Paying for it!


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Vampires In bar

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, 'I vould like some blood.'

The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, 'I vould like some blood.'

The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, 'I vould like some plasma.'

The waitress looks up and says, 'Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?'

 

 

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