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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 110

 

Jack And The Beanstalk

Jack stole a golden harp from the giant. Why couldn't he play it?
Because it took a lot of pluck!
Jack was always a grubby boy. You know what they say?
You can lead a boy to water but you can't make him wash!


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Paying in advance

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.

'Oh, about $200 today,' said the rancher. 'But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out.'

The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.

'Here,' he said, 'is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now.'


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Bumper stickers

It's still the economy.
And he's still stupid.

Clinton and Gore,
Gone in four!

Honk if Bill Clinton says you're rich!

Bumper sticker on Arkansan car:

If you can read this
You're not from here

Impeach Clinton!
And her husband, too!


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Woman to look

Why is it important for a woman to look her best?
Because plenty of men are stupid, but few of them are blind.



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Dogs Better

Why are dogs better than men?
If you get sick of a dog, you can always have it put to sleep.

 

 

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