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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 82

 

Medical Term Needed

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said, 'Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.'

'Well, in plain English,' the doctor replied, 'you're just lazy.'

'OK,' said the man. 'Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.'


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Royal

A prince came to a small pool where the most beautiful girl in the world was bathing. On her head was a large, A green frog. What was her name?
Why, Lily of course!
What has six legs, four ears and a shining suit of armour?
A prince on horseback!


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Stupid grins

Why do men always have stupid grins on their faces?
They're stupid.



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Bartender Is Sitting Behind The Bar

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses filled and they begin toasting and chanting, '51 days, 51 days, 51 days.' Finally, the tenth and final blonde arrives with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets a picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jump the others and they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives while chanting, '51 days, 51 days, 51 days.' The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little, the bartender asks one of the blondes, 'What's all the chanting and celebration about?' The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, 'Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!'


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Humanitarian

What do you call a man with a vasectomy?
A humanitarian.

 

 

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