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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 87

 

Gorilla Bar

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a cold one. The bartender gives it to him and says 'that'll be $25.'
A minute later making conversation the bartender says 'We don't get many gorillas round these parts.'
The gorilla replies 'At these prices, you won't get many more, either!'


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Miracle Cure?

Doctor Bloomfield, who was known for extraordinary treatment of arthritis, had a waiting room full of people when a little old lady, almost bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane.
When her turn came, she went into the doctor's office, and, amazingly, emerged within 5 minutes walking completely erect with her head held high. A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this rushed up to the little old lady and said, 'It's a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you're walking erect. What did that doctor do?'

'Gave me a longer cane.'


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Ali baba

'Open Sesame' opened the doors to the robbers' cave. Which piece of jewellery closed it?
A locket!


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Aladdin

Aladdin: Get me a fur coat.
Genie: What fur?
Aladdin: Fur to keep me warm, that's what fur!
As a child, the wicked magician always wanted to saw people in half.
Was he an only child?


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The Ugly Duckling

Did you hear about the two-headed ogre who got so angry that he was beside himself?
How does an ogre count to nineteen?
On his fingers!
Optician: 'Have your eyes ever been checked?'
Ogre: 'No, they've always been red!'
What did the dragon swallow that made him breathe fire?
A fire-engine!
What did the ogre get for his birthday?
Another year older!
What do you give an ogre with great big feet?
Lots of space.

 

 

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