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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 90

 

Man & Cat

What's the difference between a man and a cat?
One is a finicky eater who couldn't care less if you lived or died; the
other is a house pet.



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Ice cubes

Why don't men make ice cubes?
They can't find the recipe.



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Clinton & Marine

President Clinton is arriving back in D.C. after a trip to his home state of Arkansas. He steps out of the plane carrying two pigs, one under each arm. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs the Marine guard sharply salutes him as usual.
Clinton: 'I'd like to salute you back son, but as you can see my hands are full.'
Marine: 'Yes Sir! Mighty fine pigs Sir!'
Clinton: 'These aren't just ordinary pigs Marine, they are pure Arkansas Razorback Pigs!!'
Marine: 'Yes Sir! Mighty fine Razorbacks Sir!'
President: 'I got this one for Hillary, and this one for Chelsea.'
Marine: 'Yes Sir! Good trade Sir!'



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Acronyms for Clinton

Clinton: (C)razed (L)ow-class (I)diot (N)ow (T)aking (O)ver (N)ation

Clinton: (C)razy (L)iberal (I)ntent (O)n (N)eedlessly (T)rashing (O)ur (N)ation

Clinton: (C)learly (L)oose (I)nternal (N)avigation (T)echniques (O)ccupy (N)ever-Neverland

Clinton: (C)ompulsive (L)iar (I)s (N)ation's (T)op (O)fficial (N)ow

Clinton: (C)omplete (L)oser (I)n (N)ow (T)errorizing (O)ur (N)ation

Hillary: (H)ighly (I)nexperienced (L)eft-liberal (A)cademic (R)ighteous (Y)uppies

Gore: (G)ennifer's (O)nly (R)emaining (E)nterprise

Gore: (G)reatly (O)riented to (R)adical (E)cology

Gore: (G)reat (O)ne (R)egulating (E)verything


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Run For Office

Q: When did the candidate decide to run for office?
A: When he was being chased

 

 

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