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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 64

 

Little Red Riding Hood

What did Little Red Riding-Hood say when she saw the big, bad wolf?
There's the big, bad wolf!
Who shouted 'Knickers!' at the big, bad wolf?
Little Rude Riding Hood!


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Elevator Repair

Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the elevators. A manager got stuck between floors and, after some door banging, finally attracted attention. His name was taken and rescue promised.

It took two hours before the elevator mechanic arrived and got the manager out. When he returned to his desk, he found this note from his efficient secretary: 'The elevator people called and will be here in two hours.'


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Neutron at a bar

A neutron walks into a bar. 'I'd like a beer' he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
'How much will that be?' asks the neutron.
'For you?' replies the bartender, 'no charge'


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Men and chimpanzees

What's the difference between men and chimpanzees?
One is hairy, smelly, and picks his butt; the other can be taught to
communicate with human beings.



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Free drinks

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: 'Drinks for all on me including you, bartender.' So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: 'That will be $36.50 please.' The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. 'What, no drink for me?' replies the bartender. 'Oh, no. You get violent when you drink.'

 

 

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