Weird Websites. . . Weird Websites. . . Weird Websites. . . Weird Websites. . . Weird Websites. . . Weird Websites. . . Weird Websites. . . Weird Websites. . .

The ONLY site on the internet where everything is guaranteed to be completely WEIRD!!

<< Being weird on the Internet since 1848 >>

Utterly Weird

Weirdness

Jokes
Riddles

Poems

Stories

Pictures

Animals

Real or Fake?

Fashion

Videos

Philosophy

Cartoons

Anime

Rocky Horror

Urban Myths

Facts

Ugly People

Famous People

Auctions

Gadgets & Stuff

Names

Illusions

Webcams

Art

Quotes

Bits and Bobs

Strange Laws

Foods

Inventions

Weird Games

Humor Scripts

Photography

Limericks

Phobias

Proverbs & Sayings

Pull a Funny Face

Words

Graffiti

Face Paint Body Art

Top Song Lyrics

Movie Song Lyrics

Lyrics

Song Lyrics

Tattoos

Vintage Postcards

Wine Labels

World Population

FREE

DIET

PLANS

Google Ideas

 

Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 67

 

Jack And The Beanstalk

On which side of the house did Jack grow the beans?
On the outside!
The giant could smell an Englishman a mile away, so he knew that there was an intruder in the castle. The gates were locked, so how had Jack got inside?
Intruder window!


= = = = = = = = = =



Automated Phone Call

As an administrative assistant at a chiropractic office, I called an insurance company to verify benefits for a patient. Although the call was important, I couldn't reach a human being, only a recording.

'Thank you for calling,' said the message. 'Our office will be closed until two o'clock as we enjoy our Customer Appreciation Week Celebration.'


= = = = = = = = = =



I'll take care of expenses

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.

'But how will I let you know the baby is born?' she asked.

He replied, 'Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses.' Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, 'Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means.'

The doctor said, 'Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.'

Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.

So the wife picked up the card and read: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs; two without.'



= = = = = = = = = =



Wife is not speaking

One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.

'What's the matter?' the bartender asks.

'My wife and I got into a fight,' explained the guy 'and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days.'

The bartender thought about this for a while. 'But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?' asked the bartender.

'Yeah, except today is the last night.'


= = = = = = = = = =



Little Woman

What's the definition of a bad date?
He excuses himself to go call the 'little woman.'

 

 

<< Now check out out 1000s of other jokes >>

More - JOKES

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Must Buy eBook

medusa myths beautiful girls gorgon

Amazon: 

USA: $0.99 UK: 0.70
Amazon USA

Amazon UK

Must Buy eBook

cat ebook funny

Amazon: 

USA:  $0.99 UK: 0.80
Amazon USA 

Amazon UK

Funny Books

Funny Books

Funny Books

Funny Books

scottish humour books

Funny Books

lazy sods guide to sex

Funny Books

funny chat room wind ups windups book
 

 

Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)weird-websites.info