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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 96

 

Reading between the lines

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible

Addendum:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines


= = = = = = = = = =



Dick Whittington

Why did Dick Whittington have a beard?
Because nine out often owners find that their cats prefer whiskers.


= = = = = = = = = =



Buying A Car

Why would someone who thinks doing laundry is complicated think I need
help buying a car?



= = = = = = = = = =



Cinderella

Why was Cinderella no good at playing hockey?
Because she was always running away from the ball!


= = = = = = = = = =



We Deliver

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.

'Why don't you people leave me alone?' the deli owner said. 'I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year...and you want to know how I made $80,000?'

'It's not your income that bothers us,' the agent said. 'It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife.'

'Oh, that,' the owner said smiling. 'Didn't I mention? We deliver anywhere...'

 

 

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