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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 97

 

Duelling Barbers

A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters' place.

They put up a big bold sign which read:

'WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!'

Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign:

'WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS'


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Eggplants

A grocer put up a sign that read 'Eggplants, 25 each -- three for a dollar.'

All day long, customers came in exclaiming:
'Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!'

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, 'Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?'

'What mistake?' the grocer asked. 'Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant.'


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Durnken Master

A guy walks into a bar and says, 'Bartender give a shot.' He takes the shot then looks in his pocket. 'Bartender! Give another shot!' He takes the shot then looks in his pocket.' He says 'Bartender give another shot.' He takes the shot then looks in his pocket.

The bartender says, 'Why is it that after every shot do you look in your pocket?'

'I have a picture of his wife & when she look goods, I'll go home!'


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Jack And The Beanstalk

What did the beanstalk say to Jack?
Stop picking on me!
What do you call a contented giant?
One that's fed up with Englishmen!


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Hansel And Gretel

Why did Hansel eat all the liquorice off the witch's house?
It takes all sorts!

 

 

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