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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 102

 

nd...he is gonna be your Doctor!

While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students.

'As you can see,' she says, 'the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Morris, what would you do in a case like this?'

'Well,' ponders the student, 'I suppose I'd limp too.'


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Pony

A pony walks into a bar and says 'Bartender, may I have a drink?'

Bartender says 'What? I can't hear you. Speak up!'

'May I please have a drink?'

'What? You have to speak up!'

'Could I please have a drink?'

'Now listen, if you don't speak up I will not serve you.'

'I'm sorry, I'm just a little hoarse.'


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Robin Hood

Friar Tuck was a monk, so why did he get involved in a life of crime?
It was his habit!
How did Robin Hood tie his shoe-laces?
With a long bow!


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Son-in-law

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.

'I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,' said the man.'To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.'

The son-in-law interrupted. 'I hate factories. I can't stand the noise.'

'I see,' replied the father-in-law. 'Well then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.'

'I hate office work,' said the son-on-law. 'I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day.'

'Wait a minute,' said the father-in-law. 'I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?'

'Easy,' said the young man. 'Buy me out.'


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Murphy applied for an engineering position

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.

Manager: 'Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job'

Murphy: 'And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!'

Manager: 'We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed.'

Murphy: 'And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?'

Manager: 'Simple, the American put down on question #5, 'I don't know.', You put down 'Neither do I.'

 

 

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