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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 74

 

Sadam Husain & Clinton

Sadam Husain calls Bill clinton and tells him: 'Bill, i called because i had a dream.'
Clinton: 'what was the dream about, Sadam?'
Sadam: 'i dreamt that USA was rebuilt and on the top of each house there was a flag.'
Clinton: 'and what was written on the flag?'
Sadam: 'Allah is big, Allah is great!!!'
Clinton: 'you know what Sadam, it's good that you called because i had a dream too. In my dream Bagdad was rebuilt and on the top of each building there was a flag too.'
Sadam: 'what was written on the flags?'
Clinton: 'i don't know, i cant read hebrew!!!!'


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Bunion Removal

I went to my podiatrist to have a bunion removed.

When the treatment ended, I asked if another appointment would be necessary.

He said,'No, but if you experience any discomfort, you should callous back.'


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Two strings walk up to a bar

These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells 'I don't serve strings in this bar. The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders. The bartender shouts, 'Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?'
The string says 'Yeah.'
The bartender says, 'aren't you a string?'
The string says, 'No, I'm a frayed knot...'


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Eye Surgery

While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk. 'Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday,' she complained.

The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. 'I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing,' he said. 'Why do you think it was taken here?'

'After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.'

'I think' explained the surgeon gently, 'that means your cataract operation was a success.'


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Blonde Interview

The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, 'If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?'

The blonde quickly responded, 'The living one.'

 

 

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