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Random selection of jokes - Probably the funniest random jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 75

 

Heart surgeon and the mechanic

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car,when he spotted the world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The
heart surgeon was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, 'Hello Doctor, please come on over here for a minute.'

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic where he stood. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So doctor, look at this here. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?' The doctor smiled, leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic

'Try doing it with the engine running!'


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Third orgasm

What does a man say after his third orgasm?
'Don't you guys believe me?'



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It's my turn

1. What are three little words you'll never hear a man say?
'I'll get it'

2. What are three little words you'll never hear a man say?
'It's my turn.'



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Equation of earnings

The Equation of earnings

Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof has been developed that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows,

Work = Power * Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have:

Work = Knowledge * Money

Solving for Money, we get:


Money = Work / Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge decreases, Money increases, regardless of how much Work is done.

Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make.

Note: It has been speculated that the reason why Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard's math program was because he stumbled upon this proof as an undergraduate, and dedicated the rest of his career to the pursuit of ignorance.


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Light bulb

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One . . . men will screw anything.

 

 

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