Random Jokes - 19
Wanda have another hamburger?
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. After makind love, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...
'Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called.' she says speaking in a cheery voice.
'Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrific...
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, 'Who was that?'
'Oh' she replies, 'that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you.'
After a long, bumpy flight, our passengers were glad to finally land.
They disembarked, and the other attendants and I checked for items left behind.
In a seat pocket, I found a bag of home-made cookies with a note saying, 'Much love, Mom.'
Quickly, I gave the bag to our gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner.
A few minutes later, an announcement came over the public-address system in the concourse: 'Would the passenger who lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?'
Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip.
They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, 'Watson, look up. What do you see?
'Well, I see thousands of stars.'
'And what does that mean to you?'
'Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?'
'To me, it means someone has stolen our tent.'
A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing
The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'
The man replied to the game warden, 'No, sir. These are my pet fish.'
'Pet fish?!' the warden replied.
'Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home.'
'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!'
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, 'Here, I'll show you. It really works.'
'O.K. I've GOT to see this!' The game warden was curious.
The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, 'Well?'
'Well, what?' the man responded.
'When are you going to call them back?' the game warden prompted.
'Call who back?' the man asked.
'What fish?' the man asked.