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A random selection of hilarious jokes from our website - Probably the funniest jokes on the Internet

Random Jokes - 28

 





An old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. 'Where you goin' with that pole?' he calls. 'Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!' answers the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish.

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. 'Where you goin' with that?' he calls. 'Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!' answers the kid. 'You can't git no ducks with tape!' hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it!

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. 'Where you going with that?' he calls. 'Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!' answers the kid. 'You can't get no chickens with wire!' hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it!

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some pussy willows. 'Now hold on just a minute' calls the old man, 'wait while I get my hat!!'



The Sunday School Teacher asks, 'Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?'

'No sir,' Little Johnny replies, 'I don't have to, my mom is a good cook!'



Pythagorean theorem: 24 words
The Lordís prayer: 66 words
Archimedesí Principle: 67 words
The 10 Commandments: 179 words
The Gettysburg address: 286 words
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words
The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words
Previous Clean Joke: Government Job




Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.

Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.



A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch, and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation, and he puts up a sign that reads:

'WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!'

He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returned to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads:

'NOW THERE ARE TWO!'

 

 

<< Found these jokes funny? Now check out the 1000s of other hilarious jokes on our site. >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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