Random Jokes - 5
A young rustic named Kenny, moved to texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for one hundred dollars. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, 'sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'
Kenny replied, 'Well, then, just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Sorry, Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Kenny said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What are you going do with him?'
Kenny said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Kenny said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead and people will throw away two bucks for a greed to gain big which is not there..'
A month later, the farmer returned to Kenny and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'
Kenny said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.00.'
The farmer said, 'You sly cheater, Didn't anyone complain?'
Kenny said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back and made myself rich.'
Kenny rose to be CEO and President of a famous now defunct company and died in Jail.
When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute he topped off his cart with a single, large bag of potato chips.
Seeing the checkout clerk's look, he explained, 'I'm a very messy eater.'
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
Waiter, there's a flea in my soup!
I'll tell him to hop it.
A young couple got married. When the wife prepared to bake a ham to celebrate their first Thanksgiving, she carefully cut off each end before placing it in the pan.
Her husband asked her why she did that and she replied, 'I don't know - it's what my mother always did. But I can ask her.'
She called Mom, who responded, 'I always saw your Grandma do it, so I did the same.'
They decided to check further, so the young woman called Grandma, who explained, 'It was the only way I could get it to fit into my pan.'