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Buying a new
bird
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into
a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his
wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The
wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to
attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off
with some bored comment.
This went on for many months and the wife was going
crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the
wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy
chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble
running down the side of its mouth.
The
shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird,
told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it
had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed,
"Goony bird! The table!"
Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with
single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it
into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms
and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper
said, "Goony bird! The shelf!"
Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished
it in seconds.
"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my
husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the
bird and took it home.
When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual,
sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the
game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for
you! A Goony bird!"
The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony
Bird, my foot!"
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