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A selection of hilarious one liner jokes and quotes - Probably the funniest one liner jokes and quotes on the Internet

One line database of short jokes- 23

 

Opportunity is a bald man with a beard: You can catch him coming, but you can' t catch him going.


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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. (Mark Twain)


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Love, like paint, can make things beautiful when you spread it, but it simply dries up when you don't use it.


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It is not the moutain ahead that's wearing me out, it's the grain of sand in my shoe.


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Sometimes it costs more to do nothing than to do something.


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43% of all statistics are worthless.


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Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.


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Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. (Buscaglia)


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There's too much blood in my caffeine system.


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Never let a problem become an excuse!



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<< Now check out our 4000 other funny One - Liners - Yep, that's right we have over 4000 hilarious one liners to amuse and entertain you!!! >>

 

 

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<< Note our one liner jokes have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)weird-websites.info