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A selection of hilarious one liner jokes and quotes - Probably the funniest one liner jokes and quotes on the Internet

Top 10 One liner funny jokes - 22

 

Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.


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Lord, so far today I've not been grumpy, selfish, greedy, envious, proud, or angry. I'm really pleased about that. But in a few minutes now, I'm going to get up and from then on, I'll probably need a lot more help.


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Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead. (Anamaniacs)


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I know you know what I think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.


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The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.


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Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.


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Algebra was easy for the Romans because 'X' was always 10.


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With prayer as with other gifts from God, it is not what you get that counts, it's what you do with it.


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Honest is the best policy, but insanity is the better defense.


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Deciding not to choose is still making a choice.



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