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A selection of hilarious one liner jokes and quotes - Probably the funniest one liner jokes and quotes on the Internet

FunnyJokes and Quotes Collection - 23

 

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.


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Sometimes life can be as bitter as dragon tears. But whether dragon tears are bitter or sweat depends entirely on how each man perceives them. (Chinese proverb)


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Human things must be known to be loved: but Divine things must be loved to be known.


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Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.


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Man and the turtle are very much alike. Neither makes any progress without sticking his neck out.


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VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.


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I close my eyes in order to see.


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Don't gripe about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't be a member.


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If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. (Dale Carnegie)


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You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.



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