Signs You Might Be Watching Too Much Wrestling
On your resume you write 'I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be'. You call a beer by your name. Instead of hugging relatives you give them bear hugs & mandible claws. You begin to shake someone's hand in public, but then hesistate to look for the crowd's response. You tell your significant other, 'Not tonight, I'm watching RAW'. Every time you sit down a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault it. You get in fights with people who say wrestling is fake.
On a job application, you state your residence as 'parts unknown'.
After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back. You clothesline people in the supermarket for no real reason. You elbow smash your dog & turn him/her over for the three count. You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason. You don't understand why there are wars when a steel-cage/grudge match would settle everything. Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper. Instead of punishing your kids by grounding them, you threaten them with stunners, choke slams & tombstones. When your king-size bed has ropes and turnbuckles surrounding it. You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask. You are refereeing a sporting event and just as someone is cheating you turn your head. Your boss fires you and you come back to work and challenge him to a no-holds barred steel-cage wrestling match.
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