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Weird Websites - Weird Al Yankovic lyrics - the very best lyrics from the crazy Weird Al Yankovic

Amish Paradise

 

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize sheís very plain
But thatís just perfect for an amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning Iím milkiní cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and jacob plows... fool
And Iíve been milkiní and plowiní so long that
Even ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
Iím a man of the land, Iím into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight weíre gonna party like itís 1699

We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
Iíve churned butter once or twice
Living in an amish paradise
Itís hard work and sacrifice
Living in an amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price
Living in an amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really donít care, in fact I wish him well
ícause Iíll be laughing my head off when heís burning in hell
But I ainít never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An amish with a ítude?
You know thatís unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, youíll be bored to tears
We havenít even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ainít really quaint, so please donít point and stare
Weíre just technologically impaired

Thereís no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like robinson caruso
Itís as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
Weíre just plain and simple guys
Living in an amish paradise
Thereís no time for sin and vice
Living in an amish paradise
We donít fight, we all play nice
Living in an amish paradise

Hitchiní up the buggy, churniní lots of butter
Raised a barn on monday, soon Iíll raise anutter
Think youíre really righteous?
Think youíre pure in heart?
Well, I know Iím a million time as humble as thou art
Iím the pious guy the little amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scoriní points for the afterlife
So donít be vain and donít be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
Weíre all crazy mennonites
Living in an amish paradise
Thereís no cops or traffic lights
Living in an amish paradise
But youíd probably think it bites
Living in an amish paradise

Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!

 

 

<< Weird Al Yankovic >>

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