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The Weird-Websites news reporter
has today exclusively discovered that the problem of
inner city traffic congestion has at last been solved.
Testing carried out in parts of Edinburgh, Scotland
during July and August 2009 have shown that the use of
new four foot high speed bumps have solved an issue that
has plagued cities for decades.
A spokesman for the UK Road and
River Research Laboratory stated, "Yes, we admit that we
have tried out these new road bumps. We hadn't planned
to release the results until after proper government
debate had taken place but we are so excited we would
basically tell anyone for a few pints of beer."
After a few pints a beer the
spokesman, who must remain nameless as we forgot to ask
his name, continued. "We installed twelve of the new
speed bumps in a busy part of the city - the results
were immediate. Straight away the area beyond the speed
bumps was completely free from traffic."
The new speed bumps tested in
Edinburgh
A local, Tam McTurnip, said,
"Hoots mon, ye've never seen nothin' like it - yin
moment there wiz like loads a cars and that and the next
is wiz dead quiet no what I mean - real dead brilliant
so it wiz."
A spokesman for the RAC said, "We
cannot deny or confirm that we or anyone we know has or
has not heard or not heard anything or nothing about
this alleged or not alleged use of speed bumps."
However, our contacts in the Government reveal that the
bumps will soon be used widespread. Big Gordon stated,
"We will shortly try out these excellent traffic
regulators by placing them at all entrances to the M8
motorway. We believe that by doing so a journey from
Edinburgh to Glasgow could be reduced by as much as 1
hour - if there was any way that you could actually get
your car onto the motorway."
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