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Loch Ness
Monster Spotted at Local Swimming Pool - refuses to pay
the entry fee.
Loch Ness, in the heart of the Scottish Highlands, is
one of the deepest lakes in the world. But, perhaps it
just isn’t refreshing enough for “The Loch Ness
Monster.” Early-rising tourists and local residents have
witnessed him leaving his humble home beneath the depths
each and every morning and going for a dip in the
community swimming pool.
Area marine biologists, once inspired by Nessie’s
mythical status and who now have taken up playing
marbles in their past time, have taken slightly renewed
interest in the monster’s newest habit. This recent
change in Nessie’s behaviour; leaving his own fresh water
for the community pool worries one of the many
scientists. “Perhaps conditions in Loch Ness aren’t once
as they were,” said the retired biologist, who carried
his favorite marble in an old wedding ring case. “It
could be a result of global warming, or even some new
pollutant finding its way into the lake.”
Nessie - refused to be interviewed
After Nessie swims for about an hour, one witness
revealed, “He drips dry in an extended lounge chair, and
then heads right back to the Loch. It’s a pretty long
journey up that grassy knoll,” he continued with a proud
air pointing north, not knowing that he’s revered by his
neighbors as a ‘master of the obvious,’ “you know, since
he has flippers and no legs like you or me.”
The League Of Clean Habitats (L.O.C.H.), along with the
Loch Ness Phenomena Investigation Bureau is taking
matters into their own hands. “Since these worthless
scientist just want to play marbles, and can only just
guess what’s going on,” said the President of the
women’s organization, “we’ve decided to take turns
watching old Nessie come and go each morning. We’re
trying to find our own answers.”
The League is also concerned that the community’s
children are in danger. “What if he wants to come
swimming in the middle of summer?” asked another member
who started becoming heated. “What if he ends up swallowing one of the little kiddies?” Other members
felt the same for the children’s safety, but also
believed that maybe Nessie needed the extra protein.
The caretaker of the community pool, Mr. Mac Stuart,
says that Nessie has been coming to the pool for years.
“Och,” he continued in his own way, as if he and Nessie
shared a lot of time together, “he disn'ae harm so I
dinny even bother charging him — sides he's naedin tae
work oot.”
For now, both the organizations and other residents will
keep their concern and their eyes open. The scientists,
in between competitive marble competitions, will offer
their own opinions. Nessie, as long as the gate to the
community pool is kept open, shows no indication of
quitting his early morning ritual.
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