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New research
leaked from UK Government Health Offices on 29th
September 2009 reveal the reason why swine flu has
become pandemic so quickly - the micro organisms can
evagualate - that is they can interact with bio,
mechanical and elocto organisms. In effect they can make
mechanical and electrical devices 'sick' in the same way
they make humans and animals sick. What's even more
worrying - they can spread through mechanical and
electrical devices to humans.
Although the
Health Secretary refuses to comment, Government insider,
Doctor Blackmark-Selwin-Trops, has exclusively told
Weird-Websites that the research carried out at a secret
laboratory on Iona, Scotland has proven that the
bacteria has mutated to an advanced state not considered
possible. He said, "After six months of experimentation
we suddenly realised that we were dealing with something
different. Something completely different. Volunteers
who were in quarantine were suddenly contracting Swine
Flu. This bugged us for a while - then we had a
breakthrough - we studied one of our volunteers mobile
phones - it had all the symptoms of Swine Flu - it wad
caught the bug from another phone that was hundreds of miles
away."
Although
the British Government do not want to create mass panic,
it is thought that before the end of the year they will
ban the use of mobile phones except in emergencies.
Robert
Sole had this to say, "Bloody Awful! Yet another danger
using mobiles and what doe the bleeding government go
and do? Nothing! Blinking nothing! I could have done
nothing myself - I'm good at doing nothing. But you
expect the government to bleeding well do something to
fix the problem. It's time they created a law or
something to stop this blinking Swine Flu - but they're
to darn busy claiming expenses for their moats - useless
bloody lot that what I say - that's what I always say."
Cardinal
Syne, spokesman for the Catholic Church, Maryhill
Sub-Branch said, "It is an evil act against God to use
mobile phones. This is the first sign of his punishment
- soon he will release a torrent of rage which will
destroy mankind and his evil mobile phone."
More on
this story as it develops.
Pictures of the swine flu bacteria
magnified 10,000 times reveal that they look exactly
like normal pigs.
A mobile phone with Swine Flu
Swine Flu
Symptoms
* unusual tiredness,
* completely bored with sex,
* headache,
* runny nose,
* sore throat,
* shortness of breath or cough,
* loss of appetite,
* can't be arsed going to the pub,
* aching muscles,
* diarrhoea or vomiting. |
