Woman
Marries her Microwave Oven
In what has been
described as the most bizarre wedding in the history of
the planet, Mrs Ivan Itchiebum, 48, married her
microwave oven - a white Panasonic NNE255W - named Mica.
The wedding took place at the Gravedigger's Club on the
Isle of Mull, Scotland on the 20th November 2008.
It was back in
January 2008 that Ivan discovered the strange loophole
in Scottish Marriage laws that allowed her to marry an
electrical appliance. Apparently it is forbidden to
marry animals, motor vehicles and telephones but the
law, dating back to 1846 did not provide for electrical
appliances such as microwave ovens and toasters - which
had not been invented back in 1846.
Mrs Itchiebum
always had a liking for her Microwave, in fact she
admits to becoming rather obsessed with it. "I took him
everywhere I went," she said, blushing deep red, "at
first it was on drives to the country. Then I started
taking Mica to the pub and of course the inevitable
happened - after a few vodkas we ended up in bed. I
wouldn't say sex with a microwave is particularly good
but he was certainly better than my previous twelve
husbands."
The
groom, Mica, looking stunning in white.
Driven on by her
lust, Mrs Itchiebum began studying Scottish Marriage
laws - after 6 months of reading and re-reading heavy
volumes she found what she was looking for - a legal
loophole - or, in legal jargon - a "Fuck-Up." But it
took Mrs Itchiebum another 12 months before she could
get the marriage approved and this was only after a
fight that took her to the Scottish Parliament for final
judgement. The judgement went her way and Mrs Itchiebum
was free to set the date for her marriage to Mica.
The wedding was a
quite affair with just a few relatives, some close
friends, the refrigerator, the toaster and the vacuum
cleaner.
Mrs Itchiebum
on her wedding day.
After the wedding
Mrs Itchiebum said, "After twelve unsuccessful marriages
it's so nice to find an electrical appliance that loves
and understands me so well."
Mrs Itchiebum and
Mica will spend 2 weeks honeymooning in Comet Electrical
Store.
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