MAN FIGHTS
GLOBAL WARMING WITH ICE CUBES
Mark Miller of Jay, Maine had his family and neighbors
wondering what on earth he was doing as he piled mounds
and mounds of ice cubes in his backyard. Upon being
questioned, Mr. Miller explained that something had to
be done about global warming and this was the way which
he had chosen to combat the problem. “If everyone in the
world were to pick up on this challenge and were to
follow my example we would have this problem eliminated
in no time flat,” he predicted. “I am only one, but if I
am one. I can’t do much, but I can do something. I say
NIMBY, that is NIMBY to global warming and any form of
pollution. NIMBY, Not In My Back Yard,” he continued.
Mr Miller and a neighbour try out the new back yard
swimming pool
“My husband really does seem to be quite preoccupied
with the problem of global warming,” confirmed Janet
Miller, when questioned about her husband’s apparent
obsession. “But I for one consider this a good thing.
Ever since his retirement my husband has been following
me around like a puppy, trying to help me with my daily
work. I managed to sneak out of the house the other day
in order to preserve my sanity and quite possibly my
husband’s life. When I came home, I found that he had
totally rearranged my kitchen in order to make it more
labor efficient and cut down on my work load. We ate out
that night and shall continue to do so until I manage to
restore the kitchen to something resembling its usual
inefficient order so that I can manage to find my
cooking utensils. All in all, I’m pleased with this
obsession. I can put up with the bother of having him
traipsing in and out of my kitchen on his ice cube runs
if it keeps him out of my hair otherwise. He is even
talking about buying a new refrigerator, especially for
its ice cube making skills,” she added. “I can put up
with that as long as I have the rest of the refrigerator
for my own use.” She grinned.
The ice
cubes after subjected to 2 hours of Global Warming
Mark Miller has proved himself to be very popular with
local yard sale entrepreneurs. “He’ll buy all our old
ice cube trays,” confirmed Edward Shultz, one of the
Miller’s nearby neighbors. “And he’ll pay exorbitant
prices to get them. I’ve made several trips to local
thrift stores to buy all of their ice cube trays,
knowing that Mark will buy them at at least one hundred
times what I pay for them. During these times of such
high gas rates, I really needed to find a way to be able
to afford gas and for me, Mark has proven himself to be
a virtual gold mine.”
Mark Miller divides his days between three different
occupations, printing and handing out brochures
concerning global warming, keeping his own ice cube
stacks maintained and recruiting people for what he
calls the Ice Cube Brigade. “It’s time we start to work
together,” he shouted, during a speech given at the
local town hall. “We need to unite against this common
enemy. We, the ordinary people, the common man, the so
called squares of this society. We need to start
thinking cubed.”
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