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Our database of over 500 short poems - possibly the funniest five hundred short poems on the internet

Short Poem Collection - 20


Tested on Animals by Paul H Tubb

When I get older, if I can,
I want to be a Comedian.
I practice for a couple of hours every day
Making up jokes and funny things to say.
But there is a problem, an inconvenience,
I find difficulty getting an Audience.
My family and friends cannot be there
They claim they have no time to spare.
In fact the only audience I am able to get,
Is Jenkins our dog and faithful pet.
Still I have to bribe him to come in the room with me,
I lure him in with a biscuit, and then I turn the key.
I start by telling him how funny my jokes are
Then I begin my funny repertoire.
As I begin my act, he starts to make a noise
At first I thought it proved, that he enjoys.
But now Im not so sure, it has to be confessed,
Im having doubts due to the Animal rights protest
That is now outside, shouting, Dont be so nasty
The noise it makes is Awful, how cruel can you be?
I then go down and tell them that Im not being mean,
Jenkins is just my audience for my comedy routine.
I then told them a joke just to ease their fears.
When I did the protesters, began to cover their ears.
Stop they said, Your jokes are bad we cant take any more,
No wonder your dog was making that noise if this he had to endure.
They then make me promise, never to practice my act,
Well not in front of any living creature to be exact.
If I broke this promise, that I made that day,
The said that theyd report me to the ISPCA. *

*Irish Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

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Berried Treasure by Vincent Hefter

holly wreaths: funny
how something dead and berried
brings Christmas to life

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Santa's Accident by Gareth Lancaster

'Ho! Ho! Ho!' he said to me
And then he hit a tree!
'Cause Santa Claus,
Upon his sled,
The tree he did not see!

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My Robot by Gareth Lancaster

My robot must rate as my favorite toy,
A wonderful, whirring, mechanical joy.
My robot can talk, but he'd much rather sing,
Or go to the park and play on the swings!

My robot is silver and very astute.
For instance this week he was learning the flute.
My robot's adept at a number of tests,
Like doing my homework or folding my vests!

My robot tells jokes that will tickle your sides,
Or spin a good story and much more besides.
And with a small spanner I always keep handy,
I unbolt his head to store all my candy!




<< Now check out our 500 other funny short poems >>


More Short Poems


More Poems


Funny poems from No' Rabbie Burns



<< Note our poems and pictures have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>





















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