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Our database of over 500 short poems - possibly the funniest five hundred short poems on the internet

Short Poem Collection - 12

 

Lousy Catcher's Mitt by Kenn Nesbitt

I bought myself a catcher's mitt
so I could catch a ball.
But all I ever caught were things
I didn't want at all.

I caught a fish, I caught a cab;
just how I can't explain.
I caught my brother telling lies,
I even caught a train.

I caught a show, I caught a crook,
I caught the evening news.
I caught my sister kissing boys,
and then I caught a snooze.

Come see my lousy catcher's mitt:
a wonder to behold!
I've never caught a single ball,
and now I've caught a cold!


= = = = = = = = = =



Oliver… by Matthew Edan Oliver Palma

Rain pours as tears fell
As I stare my eyes swell
Through the window looking out
It is funny how it feels like I’ 'm outside looking in…

Always included but never belonging
Trying to fit in a world filled with longing
On the doorstep staring out
It’ s still funny how it feels like I’ 'm outside staring in… .

Mist falls as souls rest
My mind dwells in an endless test
Through this window looking out
I’ 'm still outside looking in… ..


matthewedanolivernpalma-->>>>>


= = = = = = = = = =



I Cloned Myself on Friday Night by Kenn Nesbitt

I cloned myself on Friday night.
By Saturday at three
my clone had made another clone.
They both looked just like me.

They walked like me and talked like me.
They acted like me too.
They wore my clothes and used my stuff
and did the things I do.

But worst of all they made more clones
who then made even more,
and soon my house was overrun
and I was getting sore.

They wouldn't do my homework,
clean my room, or make my bed.
They wouldn't wash the dishes,
or do anything I said.

Instead they sat and watched TV
and played computer games.
They ate up all my favorite snacks
and called each other names.

And now they like to stay up late
and keep me wide awake.
My life is wrecked, but still I hope
you'll learn from my mistake.

Don't ever try to clone yourself.
But, if you ever do,
you'd better hope your clones are not
exactly just like you.


= = = = = = = = = =



Devilish Plans by Cokbod Lodwogo

It's funny how Protestants(all Christians)
are so quick to say that this world
is spiraling into disarray.
When they are backing the men
that are leading us into this plunge.
How dare you attack people other than
yourselves because it is yourselves
that dwell in these devilish plans.
You may think that you are letting them
attack one of the roots of the problems
but they are only making the innocent suffer.
We are turning the innocent into soldiers
by backing them into a corner.
You attack the liberals because they
are fighting against this evil movement.
It's funny a lot of these liberals are
atheists and they are better people
than you when your whole life revolves
around making yourself a better person.



PPPP

 

 

<< Now check out our 500 other funny short poems >>

 

More Short Poems

 

More Poems

 

Funny poems from No' Rabbie Burns

 

 

<< Note our poems and pictures have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)weird-websites.info