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Our database of over 500 short poems - possibly the funniest five hundred short poems on the internet

Short Funny Poetry Collection - 10


Conjuring Kevin by Gareth Lancaster

The world-renowned Conjuring Kevin,
Amazed children from three through eleven.
With his rabbits from hats,
A badger or rat,
He would wow and astound half of Devon!

But for Kevin things got out of hand,
As the creatures he plucked got more grand.
An otter, a cow,
A horse, then a sow,
It was not turning out as he'd planned!

Whilst delighting a crowd with his tricks,
His hat produced tigers and chicks.
A giraffe and a goat,
A most displeased stoat,
And a mule that gave Kevin a kick!

But the hat had not finished, no way.
Next a moose, a gnu, birds of prey.
A whale and a sloth,
And a flurry of moths,
They kept coming to Kevin's dismay!

Kevin stood, muttered words, waved his hands,
Whilst surrounded by beasts from all lands.
The children aghast,
At the creatures he'd massed,
As the hat just ignored his commands!

The was-renowned Conjuring Kevin,
Still amazes from three to eleven.
But no longer with tricks,
Does he wish to transfix,
As he owns a big zoo down in Devon.

= = = = = = = = = =

Time by Kalen Ross

Aint it funny how time flies?
the hours and minutes just go right by
the moments you miss
you can blow them a kiss
like the time you made the ball SWISH!

Aint it funny how scary times never end?
the bones in your body start to break and to bend
you're shivering and shaking
is your death in the making?
and your parents never notice the trend

Aint it funny how the good times go by fast?
it's like they weren't there
they go right past
after they're done
there is no more fun
you could just go play under the sun

= = = = = = = = = =

I Dreamed a Dream by Gareth Lancaster

I dreamed a dream in bed last night,
Of places most bizarre.
Of ponds of liquid lemon pie,
And ducks that played guitar.

Of perfect picture puzzle paths,
And grass of jellybeans.
Of crumpet homes and candy gnomes,
Such things I'd never seen.

Of glinting, misty marble stars,
And clouds of thick eclair.
Of crayon boats and biscuit goats,
A weird and strange affair.

I flew past trees of centipedes,
And over fondant hills.
Past eight-leg cats and purple rats,
A world so full of thrills.

I dived beneath a soapy lake,
Through plastic kelp and Bream.
And swam with rainbow octopus,
Past shores of clotted cream.

And down below the treacle waves,
I spied a feathered bee.
But with a start I woke to find,
My pillows eating me!

= = = = = = = = = =

Oh Brother by David Darbyshire

I see no one comments on misery
I'll try to be light with comedy
Something funny for today
To help us on our way

I saw a man slip on a banana peel
And a girl flew over her front wheel
A man light his cigar and it blew up
Small boy dragging his sweet little pup

All these observations seem funny
But if you look again you'll see misery
For what looks funny to us is pain for another
I just stepped in some dog crap Oh brother




<< Now check out our 500 other funny short poems >>


More Short Poems


More Poems


Funny poems from No' Rabbie Burns



<< Note our poems and pictures have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>





















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Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)