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Our database of over 500 short poems - possibly the funniest five hundred short poems on the internet

Short Funny Poetry Collection - 22


My Daughter, My Friend by Catherine Inscore

Sipping sodas during a movie
laughing loudly at something hilariously funny
eating pancakes quietly just us two
Girl time—our time

Holding each other and sobbing
we made it through,
me and you…suffered it all
mother and daughter
friends till the end

now its your turn with her…
build a bond, learn the ropes
it will be tricky—
often sticky
tears will be shed
it will be worth it
in the end…
My daughter,
My friend

= = = = = = = = = =

When Herbert Got a Hot Dog by Kenn Nesbitt

When Herbert got a hot dog
he stared at it a while,
then dripped a drop of mustard on
and smiled a little smile.

He covered it with relish
which really made him grin,
then spread it thick with mayonnaise
and shoveled onions in.

He splashed it with some ketchup,
as much as he could squeeze,
and tossed on chopped tomatoes
and some shredded cheddar cheese.

He smothered it with sauerkraut,
and bacon bits and beans,
He even added twenty two
Norwegian canned sardines.

He piled it high with pickles
and peppers by the pound.
He topped it off with chili
then he looked at it and frowned.

He shed a single tiny tear
and gave a little pout,
for Herbert hated mustard
so he had to throw it out.

= = = = = = = = = =

Feuding Friends by Gareth Lancaster

I woke up this morning in such a bad mood,
And all through the day I've been surly and rude.
As my friend and I are embroiled in a feud,
So with anger I find myself all but consumed!

It started this week when he misplaced a book,
And since then he's thrown me some terrible looks.
Now this book that he thinks without asking, I took,
He wants back and will get it by hook or by crook!

See this book he's convinced that I swiped without trace,
He just couldn't locate in its usual place.
So his temper incensed, he blamed me face to face,
And demanded this book, straight away, I replace!

But I couldn't as this book I do not possess,
So I tried to explain but just upped his distress.
And he stamped on the floor blaming me for this mess,
Hoping that he could make me give up and confess!

But what he doesn't know is the book I have seen,
And in view of his mood, to explain I'm not keen.
For the day in his house when he'd first caused the scene,
I saw it whizz round in their washing machine!

= = = = = = = = = =

The Wishing Flower by Gareth Lancaster

In a pot in my garden
By the pond with the fishes
Is a flower that seems to like
Spreading lots of wishes.

I came across it yesterday
I'd not seen it there before
And now I wonder how it got here
Where people can't ignore.

The pot is golden brown
The stem is thick and green
The flower's lots of colours
Like a rainbow to be seen.

It sits there looking pretty
Shining when it's touched
And letting people know
About their wishes, very hushed.

I told it what I wished
And it said that it would be!
So next year I know I'll have
Some proper, grown-up teeth!




<< Now check out our 500 other funny short poems >>


More Short Poems


More Poems


Funny poems from No' Rabbie Burns



<< Note our poems and pictures have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>





















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Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)