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Our database of over 500 short poems - possibly the funniest five hundred short poems on the internet

Short Silly Poem Database - 17

 

Stand-Up Comedians by Stanley Cooper

Stand-up comedians so funny
Joke around to earn their money
They’re never funny sitting down

But when standing vertically upright
Their comedic humor is out of sight
Funny-ing as they act like stand-up clowns

They just can’t be funny or sassy
Sitting on their sorry assy’s
Perpendicular they invite loud guffaws

And with their joke-around renditions
In their stand-around positions
They welcome all appreciative applause

When they’re on stage it is behooved
To have all the sit-down chairs removed
So they can fill the halls with tons of laughter

So these stand-up fools so funny
Can earn rafts of funny money
The house is filled with laughs up to the rafter


= = = = = = = = = =



My Computer Ate My Homework by Kenn Nesbitt

My computer ate my homework.
Yes, it's troublesome, but true.
Though it didn't gnaw or nibble
and it didn't chomp or chew.

It digested it completely.
It consumed my homework whole,
when I pressed the Shift and Enter keys
instead of Shift-Control.

It devoured my hours of typing,
every picture, chart and graph,
and it left me most unsettled
when I thought I heard it laugh.

I would guess it was a virus,
or it could have been a worm,
that deleted every bit
but didn't prompt me to confirm.

I suppose I might have pressed Escape
instead of pressing Save,
but, regardless, my computer
now will never misbehave.

For I found a good solution
and I smiled to hear the crash,
when I chucked it out the window
and it landed in the trash.


= = = = = = = = = =



Growing Up by Gina Durst

Funny how i
Recall the games
I used to play
When i was younger

There's nothing like
Growing up
When you don't want to
From skipping and jump rope
To studying and staying in for lunch
Not to be able anymore
To sit down and have a new best friend
Only ten minutes later

Friendships crushed
Laid crumbled on the ground
Enemies loved
Funny how
Middle School
Changes everything


= = = = = = = = = =



Piggy Food by David Caucutt

In a little big forest far away,
There lived three little piglets, Pig,Piggy, and Pigglay.
Two little pigs were foolish things,
But the oldest was as wise as kings.

Now each little piggy needed an abode,
So from house to house, they begged for a load.
Pig, who was lazy made himself a home of hay,
Then he looked for some butterflies and just walked away.

Piggy, who was also a lazy flick,
Got himself a big long stick,
He cracked it into thirty twigs,
And now he is in there eating earwigs.

Wise old Pigglay, he made his home of brick.
He worked so hard, that his walls were double thick.
He made himself a roof, with shingles of hard slate.
Then he made himself some food and sat down and ate.

One fateful day, a mean wolf came to eat.
He searched longingly for nice pig meat.
Lazy Pig saw him coming, and went home running.
The wolf saw him run, and came after him slobbering.

Wolf knocked on the door and yelled, 'Let me in! Let me in!'
Lazy Pig replied, 'No way! Not by the hair on my fat little chin.'
Wolf snarled and said, 'I'll blow your house down.'
And so he did, right to the ground.

Then after a good meal, wolf chops got licks,
And he went for fat free feed from the house of sticks.
He knocked on the door and asked for in,
Which was answered, 'Snort in your face I'd rather sit on a pin!'

Piggy is gone like his brother too.
Fools like them are now quite few.
Wolf was still eager for a pig,
So he went to Pigglay's house hoping to get big.

'Let me in' was not enough,
So Wolfy decided to get big and tough.
He blew for an hour and got a red facial expression.
He fell on the ground and had involuntary motion.

Pigglay, who by a heart of kindness was led,
Ran out to save the mean old airhead.
Wolf was filled up to the brim,
Pigglay's end was kind of grim.

Now the moral of this story be:
Don't be a pig who is lazy.
Good pigs always have a stop.
Their wisdom is piggish and sometimes will pop.

Work like a wolf and all will go well,
But don't blow too hard or you might go to hell.
Eat like a glutton and you shall die,
And never give in to a piggish lie.



PPPP

 

 

<< Now check out our 500 other funny short poems >>

 

More Short Poems

 

More Poems

 

Funny poems from No' Rabbie Burns

 

 

<< Note our poems and pictures have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)weird-websites.info