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Our database of over 500 short poems - possibly the funniest five hundred short poems on the internet

Short easy to read poetry - 25

 

Attack of the Vegetables by Gareth Lancaster

Clouted by sprouts,
And harassed by carrots!
Poked by the beans,
And screamed at by salad!

Poisoned by cabbage,
And pinched by the peas!
Tripped by the spinach,
And peppered with seeds!

Hair pulled by parsnip,
And bruised by tomato!
Glared at by swede,
And thumped by potato!

Battered by beetroot,
That pinch, punch and poke!
Slapped by the onions,
And Arti, who chokes!


= = = = = = = = = =



Fame And Fortune by Laurence Overmire

The moment had arrived
This was the day for which he had worked
Hour after hour, week after week, etcetera, etcetera
This was it!

Everyone was here to pay him the homage
He so richly deserved.

His chin upright, he puffed out his chest
The medal of achievement was pinned to his breast.

But then a funny thing happened.
All of the air went out of him
And he fizzled and twirled all over the room
Like a balloon.


= = = = = = = = = =



Jester by Fae LundConlon

Tinkling bells, cheerful and jolly
Festive colours of green like holly
Dazzling yellow like august sun
Strange little man does his best to be funny

Backflips, somersaults, tricks galore
Gleeful children beg for more
He smiles and lets his aht bells ring
PIcks up a guitar and starts to sing

Medieval songs, major in key
He sings pf visions, the sights we see
Our funny kester in stripes and spots
Dances round the baby's cot

Floppy hat falls into his eyes
This wardrobe malfunction will be his demise
For in the middle of a backflip
His solid routine hits a huge fatal blip

In his miscalculation og the caste wall
He jumped far too far and started to fall
The crocodiles who waited in the moat
Began to grin, bagan to gloat

With teeth sharp like razors, the animals smiled
As the jester fell the full half mile
For the animals who waited for their lunch
From the sky fell down their brunch!


= = = = = = = = = =



Love-Like by Chandra Hohmann

Itís hard playing nice
Without being able to play
Without being able to touch

I know sheís not ready
Neither am I

I know that even if she were
She might not want me

I look in the mirror and itís easy to see why

But it doesnít stop that aching burning need
That comes every night as I lie in bed
A sob of frustration and confusion
Slowly welling itís way up

Or the other slightly sweeter ache
Below my belly

Doesnít stop the slightly silly smile
That comes when I make her laugh
Or think about making her laugh
Or think about her

Doesnít stop the pain
When she talks about boys
Refusing to meet my eyes
Refusing to say what I already know

Not for me
For her

Maybe a little for me
Iím only human

I know sheís scared
That theyíll look at her and say sheís not
Not human
Not anything
Ever again

Itís funny
How her fears make me so much angrier than my own

Itís funny how Iím writing this poem when itís nearly tomorrow
When I should be sleeping
I have school

But she plagues my brain

Like angel kisses turning to hits

Which wouldnít be so bad
As long as she was touching me

So here I am, just another love-struck teenage girl

Only I donít love-like who Iím supposed to

Somehow that changes everything.



PPPP

 

 

<< Now check out our 500 other funny short poems >>

 

More Short Poems

 

More Poems

 

Funny poems from No' Rabbie Burns

 

 

<< Note our poems and pictures have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Note: Many of photos and other items on this site have been submitted by friends of the site. We try not to infringe copyright but if you do have copyright to any picture (or anything else) and wish it removed please contact the webmaster. webmaster(@)weird-websites.info