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Our database of over 500 short poems - possibly the funniest five hundred short poems on the internet

Short Silly Poem Database - 2


The Plug-Hole Monster by Gareth Lancaster

The gurgling, burbling plug-hole monster,
Is waiting to slurp up your bath!
Skulking below in the bowels of the drain,
It belches its bubbling wrath!

Biding its time, till you pull out the plug,
Watch out, or it nibbles your feet!
The terrible, blubbering beast there within,
Is something you don't want to meet!

A blobulous mass of suddy shampoo,
It gulps dirty water with glee.
Then shiftily checks for the presence of toes,
And, with luck, the occasional knee!

So take heed and beware as you finish your soak,
And ensure that you keep your legs clear!
Let it swig till it's full, hear it grumble and moan,
And despondently then disappear!

= = = = = = = = = =

I'm Building...Something by Gareth Lancaster

Bottle tops and rubber bands,
Empty boxes, varied brands.
Plastic tubs and sticky tape,
Last Halloween's black Vampire cape.
Cardboard tubes and burst balloons,
Assorted bent and broken spoons.
Three magazines, my sister's shoes,
(I took them whilst she had a snooze.)
My winter gloves, a paper bag,
A flapping pirate castle flag.
A pot of glue, some old pen tops,
And two of my mum's kitchen mops.
A pile that's twice as high as me,
A diverse heap, as you can see.
I scratch my head as I begin,
What was I going to build again?

= = = = = = = = = =

To my uncle janus by Laudine Warbus

My uncle Janus, a very funny guy,
I don't know why you had to die
You were one of the funniest ones in our family
Now thereís only a few. When you smiled you always brought joy to us
Even if we were mad or sad you knew a way to cheer your family up.
Even though we all had our little fights here and there
over nothing sometimes or your little sisters and cousin
Getting in trouble all the time
You would get mad at us. I remember when I seen you at grandmaís
You told me to promise you
That I will never go to juvie again
And I broke that promise
But I am very truly sorry though.
I never wanted to be one these kids
Who always gets in trouble and end up in
Probation and go to jail.
I need you here so you can get mad at me
And tell me you care and donít quit my bull-shit now.
I'm glad those youíre my uncle
You were so funny and cute,
It was hard for me to let you go this soon
But your time was up I had no choice,
and in the end you always came through.
By coming to my dreams, checking up on me.
This is Lummi where you lived
we all are here with the whole family,
Having a family dinner
Our hearts are broken, as you know,
we really can't bear to let you go.
Sometimes you were so crazy but funny at the same time,
especially when you were drunk, but now we hate it
Because that is how we lost you.
We all wish that you were here with us at the family dinner,
So that way you can make us all laugh our asses offÖ
or you would be outside with my aunties and uncles
Having a beer right along with them.
Itís the memory of you making us laugh that gets us through
Like all the fun and good times we shared with you.
And now my poem will come to an end,
until the day we meet again,
I pray that you are now at peace.
Goodbye Uncle Janus we all love you so much
We hope to see you soon with much more to come.

= = = = = = = = = =

Together by Ashley Ayers

Together forever
Thatís what you said
Together forever
Thatís what you lead

You promised me the world
But that was a lie
You promised me the world
Along with the sky

You said youíd be there
But now your not
You said youíd be there
You left me to rot

Your promises are deceptions
Itís not that funny
And if I didnít mention
You owe me some money

You broke my heart
How did you know?
You broke my heart
That was really low

So please just go
I really donít care
Your nothing to me
So stop that stare

Fine Iíll take my leave
But before I depart
You better remember
You broke my heart




<< Now check out our 500 other funny short poems >>


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Funny poems from No' Rabbie Burns



<< Note our poems and pictures have been submitted by a number of contributors - if you find anything that you think should not appear here please contact the webmaster >>





















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